GOD’S GOOD PARENTING
Kimberly Lawrence
Today's Scripture: “And the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Obey the voice of the people in all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me from being king over them.’” 1 Samuel 8:7, ESV
Theme: When His people reject God’s authority, He allows them and us to endure the result of that choice.
OLD-SCHOOL
My husband and I had our kids during a time when terms like “helicopter mom” and “snowplow” parents originated. Our generation was the first to look for alternatives to the rigid rules and boundaries that existed when baby boomers raised us and, instead, nurtured and coddled with “gentle parenting.” To the extreme, this version of childrearing became infamous for parents hovering, staying overly involved, and removing consequences in an effort to help their kids avoid hardship or adversity. In some cases, the unintended consequence resulted in children who lacked independence, decision-making skills, and age-appropriate personal responsibility.
CONSEQUENCE: A NATURAL TEACHER
Fortunately (or unfortunately) for the Lawrence kids, we were raised by old-school parents. Therefore, we embraced what, at the time, was a counter-cultural version of childrearing. We allowed the consequences of their choices to shape the decisions they would make in the future vs. intervening and heading them off. This may have seemed harsh or insensitive…but it’s all we knew, and we believed the best way for them to learn was through experience.
Maybe we were perceived as the “mean parents” …those that didn’t bring the forgotten lunch or basketball clothes to school for the third time that month. You don’t want to bring a sweatshirt to school like I suggested? There was no better lesson than the short walk from the bus stop in 40-degree weather and 15 mph winds. Late to practice or show up unprepared and have to run a few laps? I support you, Coach! None of these experiences were life altering in the moment. They were, however, building a foundation involving consequences which they would grow and learn from.
As parents, it’s natural to want to shield our children from pain, disappointment, or failure out of love for them. In my lighthearted examples about my kids, I never found pleasure in their suffering, and I certainly didn’t love them less than other parents by allowing those consequences to occur. My goal was to help them develop resilience, wisdom, and a deeper understanding of personal responsibility which were important life skills that would serve them (beyond the temporary discomfort) long into adulthood.
THE CONSEQUENCES OF REJECTING GOD
God, our Father, teaches us in some of the same ways. The Israelites rejected God and demanded a king, despite Samuel’s warning of heavy taxes and even enslavement. God was speaking, yet they rejected Him, desiring instead to be like other nations with a mortal king to lead and fight their battles. Like the parent allowing us to learn from our own actions and stubbornness, the Lord said, “Listen to them and give them a king” (1 Samuel 8:22, NIV). He then allowed the Israelites to learn through their own direct experience, even turmoil, that true kingship belongs to God, not human rulers.
Make It Personal: I can attest that I, too, am stubborn. I’ve sometimes learned the hard way instead of seeking God’s direction, listening to Him instead of my own voice. These stumblings, however, were not failures without merit. They were and still are teaching moments that have shaped my life and my walk with God. God didn’t cause my hardship and distress. I did. But, through those experiences, He never left. He taught me powerful lessons that, step by step, brought me even closer to Him.
Pray: God, I wish it were always easy to listen and obey. Forgive me. I know I’ve been like a defiant child, yet You are patient, loving and forgiving. Help me to seek Your direction daily for my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit so I may submit to Your authority and live a life pleasing to You.
Read: Deuteronomy 28:15; Jeremiah 7:13; Luke 6:46; Hebrews 2:1-3
Weekly Memory Verse: “If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14, ESV