ANGER EMOTIONS: GOOD AND BAD
Susan Murray
Today’s Scripture: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Ephesians 4:26-27, ESV
Theme: When you’re angry, surrender the emotion to God. Don’t allow it to control you.
HOLY ANGER’S GOOD PURPOSE
The Bible tells us that both Jesus and God the Father felt and expressed anger. They were angry at sin, hypocrisy, injustice, and mistreatment of people. God’s anger is always holy and righteous and ours may start out as righteous. When injustice occurs, anger follows, as it should, bringing with it increased energy preparing for action in order to protect what is good and defeat that which is evil. Holy anger is rooted in love and not selfishness. That is what Jesus' anger was all about - wanting to defeat evil and bring about what is good. Unfortunately, this is very hard to discern.
When my son was about six years old, he was playing in the front yard with a neighbor boy that was a little older. I was watching them play when I witnessed this boy pushing my son down for no legitimate reason. I became angry. I walked outside and with a calm, but firm voice said that this would not happen again and if it did, I would be talking to his mom, my friend. To his credit, he received the warning well, and they continued to play.
UNHOLY ANGER’S HARM
I would say that completely holy anger is extremely rare for me and probably for most other people, also--you included. My sin nature easily and quickly enters and has resulted in outward actions like slamming doors (passive aggressive) and hostile retorts. Because I don’t like conflict, I mostly lean toward shutting down, giving “the silent treatment.” Sometimes I cope by doing the best house cleaning ever. The energy must go somewhere and, although cleaning in itself is not harmful and can help burn off energy, it can be done in a frenzy, creating a hostile atmosphere for others.
Our anger can start out righteous because of an injustice—real or perceived—but because of the sin nature that remains in us, it quickly becomes, first, a sinful heart posture (malice, contempt) followed by actions or words meant not to explore truth and seek justice, but revenge. Unrighteous anger is not rooted in love but selfishness, and lacks a desire to seek good and defeat evil in the one who offends, but to harm.
WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY ANGER?
Stuff it or vent it? Neither. Stuffed anger is denying the truth and like a quiet volcano, when the pressure increases enough, it erupts, spewing out burning lava on everyone, including the innocent and sometimes with great surprise. Conflict-avoidant people like me can often end up here. On the other hand, venting quickly rises like a Tsunami wave ready to destroy everything in its path. Angry emotions--even when legitimate--make terrible masters. Due to our sin natures, anger often enslaves, creating resentment and hate, robbing us and others of life. Yet when we are tempted to sin in our anger, God provides a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Amid the anger, it feels impossible to control sinful impulses that feel right, justified, and necessary. How can we not sin while angry, as Paul instructs (Ephesians 4:26-27)? First, take several deep slow breaths to regulate your nervous system so you can think rightly. Next, wrestle with God, pouring out your heart and asking for His wisdom. Repent of contempt and seek to forgive the offender as your offensives have been forgiven by God. Talking to a wise counselor can help bring clarity. The purpose is not to vilify the one you are angry with by trying to gain support for “your side,” but to seek truth and to understand your own heart.
It’s not about trying harder not to be angry but to ponder and experience the Gospel as a living reality so that your heart is changed. Then you will be ready to deal with the offender in truth and love. The power to do this comes from remembering that we have been rescued from God’s eternal holy anger because Jesus received all of it on the cross. The experience of God’s love can relieve the pressure of the volcano and calm the tsunami within us.
Make It Personal: “Why am I angry,” is a good first question to ask yourself. Was it a real injustice that needs to be addressed, or was it just a bruised ego or blocked desire? Is your anger accompanied by love and desire for others’ good or is it fueled by contempt, wanting to get revenge?
Pray: Abba Father, You are a holy and righteous God who is angry at sin but loves to forgive. I confess that within me I have anger that demands what I want right now, and I don’t want to wait on You for justice or satisfaction. Forgive me and help me to seek truth and love in every circumstance in my life. Only when You change my heart will my anger be for good and not evil. Thank You for your never-ending grace. Amen
Read: Exodus 32:9-10; James 4:1-3; Psalms 4:4-5; 1 Corinthians 10:13
Weekly Memory Verse: “Be angry and do not sin;” Ephesians 4:26a, ESV