THE GIFT AND CHALLENGE OF RAISING CHILDREN
Mechelle Holbrook
Today’s Scripture: “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.” Proverbs 13:24, NLT
Theme: Discipline is necessary, both displayed by a parents’/leader’s good example and in loving, patient training.
THE JOY, THE STRUGGLE, AND THE CALLING
“Have kids,” they say. “It’ll be great,” they say! I don’t know who “they” are, but I might need to have a talk with them.
In all seriousness, it is one of the greatest joys and privileges to be blessed with children. As I write this, I’m also mindful that someone reading this may be walking through a difficult season, perhaps longing for children or grieving the loss of that dream. Please know this is written with compassion, and I’m praying that God meets you right where you are.
Most of us, in some way or other, have the opportunity to pour into a child’s life. Maybe you’re an aunt, uncle, grandparent, teacher, or mentor. There are many ways we influence children, and if you’re anything like me, those sad puppy-dog eyes can make discipline feel especially hard.
Yet Scripture reminds us in Proverbs 13:24 that discipline is necessary. If we truly love and care for children, we will set rules and boundaries to protect them. We will guide and correct them. The question is, how do we do that well?
LEARNING TO DISCIPLINE WITH PURPOSE
Before my first child was born, I had all these ideas about how I would raise my kids, and what I would and wouldn’t do. As you can imagine, it didn’t quite work out that way. I remember one time we visited a friend’s house. My son found a stylus on the floor and decided to bring it home; after all, he had just “found” it. When I saw him using it, I knew it wasn’t ours. I asked where he got it, and he told me.
The best thing to do, I decided, was have him return it and admit what he had done. It was embarrassing for him, and honestly, I hated making him do it. But it was the right choice. That moment had a lasting impact on both of us. He learned a valuable lesson about honesty and consequences, and it’s something we’ve never forgotten.
Obviously, I wanted my children to grow up understanding right from wrong and that actions have consequences. I wish I could say it stayed simple, but as they grew from toddlers to teenagers, things became more complex. Still, God knew my heart, heard my prayers, and faithfully helped my husband and me raise our children according to His Word, even when we fell short.
If you have children or any child in your life, God can use you, too. In today’s culture, discipline often feels overlooked, but that can be harmful to a child’s future.
TRUSTING GOD THROUGH EVERY SEASON
Proverbs 22:6 encourages us to train up a child in the way they should go, trusting that what we teach will stay with them. But I’ll be honest—there was a time when this verse was hard for me.
When our children went through a season of not walking with God, people would quote that verse to me, and I struggled with it. It seemed to be an accusation that I had not done my part. I knew the Proverbs are wise sayings and guidelines, not guaranteed promises that all would go as I wished. What I had forgotten, though, is that God is faithful and He pursues His children.
No matter what stage you’re in with the child/children in your life, God calls us to be gentle and loving, not provoking them to anger (Colossians 3:21). At the same time, we are to guide and discipline them in the right way, just as God disciplines us (Hebrews 12:6–11).
Children are an incredible blessing, but they can also be challenging. We must remember that God loves them even more than we do. Our role is to remain faithful, to follow His Word, and to trust Him with the outcome.
Maybe you experienced harsh or unhealthy discipline growing up, and you’ve either repeated those patterns or gone to the opposite extreme. God sees your story, and He cares about your healing. In His sovereignty, He can teach us how to love and discipline in a way that reflects His heart.
Make It Personal: What might God be showing you about the children in your life? Are there areas where you may be coming across too harshly, instead of allowing God to guide your response? Or maybe you’ve been avoiding discipline altogether because it feels uncomfortable or overwhelming.
Ask God to help you start fresh. He can reshape your perspective and lead you in a way that draws those children closer to Him. If your past has influenced how you respond, bring that to Christ and allow Him to guide you forward with wisdom and grace.
Pray: God, I pray for the person reading this. You know exactly what they are walking through. Maybe they feel unseen, unheard, or misunderstood. Whether it’s with their own children or the children You’ve placed in their lives, I pray that You would use them to love, guide, encourage, and discipline according to Your Word.
Thank You that You discipline those You love. You are a good Father, and we trust You to lead us as we care for the children You’ve entrusted to us. Amen.
Read: Hebrews 12:9, Psalm 94:12, Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 6:23
Weekly Memory Verse: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4, ESV