BE PRESENT FOR THEM
Kimberly Lawrence
Today's Scripture: “Do not forsake your friend and your father's friend, and do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away.” Proverbs 27:10, ESV
Theme: Stand with your friends when they face hardship. Go to funerals, visit hospitals, bring meals.
SHOW UP
I remember it like it was yesterday. I had been home from the hospital for about two weeks after having my first baby. While I was fortunate to have a lot of help from my husband and family, by that point, I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and my body still didn’t feel like my own. It was not quite the motherhood bliss I expected when, out of the blue, I had two people insist on doing two small but amazing things that I vividly remember, 25 years later.
My cousin, who had babies before me, knew the exhaustion would kick in at this stage and offered to be an overnight caregiver so we could sleep more than a couple hours. She was thrilled to cuddle and feed my newborn all night, and the extra shuteye was of tremendous value! Her best friend came over another night with a pot of piping hot homemade soup which we ate for days! Because she had older kids, she also knew to plan a day or two before and to politely drop the meal and leave so I didn’t have to “entertain.” I remember crying from gratefulness, never knowing how much I needed that help. Each gesture was so meaningful to me yet, until then, I wouldn’t have thought to do such things for someone else.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve gotten very good at looking for ways to help those around me. It’s not because I am more ingenious, but because I’ve been the recipient of so many blessings from family, friends, and co-workers. I have used those experiences as examples to become a better servant to others. I want to help the people God puts around me to feel loved, cherished, and uplifted, just like I have felt.
JUST DO IT!
Have you ever had someone you care about experience hardship, yet you didn’t know how to help? Maybe they lost a loved one, received a devastating health diagnosis, or faced an unexpected job loss, and you found yourself unsure of what to do. I’m going to take the mystery out of this situation so you never have to wonder again – JUST DO IT! Do something; do anything. I have never heard someone say they wished someone didn’t show up at a funeral, didn’t call to check on them, didn’t send a card, didn’t drop a meal off, didn’t offer to watch their kids, or didn’t offer to help alleviate a financial burden. When life becomes difficult, it often reveals the true nature of our relationships. Show up and do the thing that comes to mind… whatever it is. Be the reason someone feels the love of Christ, and maybe someday, chooses to do the same for someone else.
GIVING IS EASIER THAN RECEIVING
Why do we find it difficult to ask for help? Maybe it’s out of fear of someone knowing our difficult circumstances, that they will think we are weak, or that we’re simply used to being the one who has it all together and gets things done. If that’s you, lay your pride down and let those who love you help you. Don’t deprive others of being the blessing God puts in your life because of egotism. When my best friend battled breast cancer, one of her nurses gave her this advice: “People who love you want to help. Let them! Don’t be afraid to be specific.” Let that type-A friend coordinate a meal schedule. Accept help from your sister-in-law who wants to drive you to your chemo appointments. Allow your co-workers to take on your late afternoon workload when you’re feeling the most rundown. Let people walk your dogs. Let people who love you… love you!
Make It Personal: Have you ever been surprised by who shows up in your life? Maybe hurt by those who didn’t? Being present reminds people that we care and that they are not alone. We make a lot of excuses for not taking action (it’s too personal, they’re busy, I’m busy, they will ask when they need something, I don’t want to intrude, I don’t know what to say, etc.). Stop making excuses just because it is a bit out of your comfort zone. Show up. Make a specific offer of help. I promise, God will bless your relationships and He will bless you. Here are a few ideas to get started:
- Make a brief hospital visit.
- Prepare or have a meal delivered.
- Provide childcare for a day or weekend.
- Buy gas cards or offer to fill up and clean a vehicle.
- Attend a funeral.
- Run errands.
- Sit with an elderly person to provide respite care for their primary caregiver.
- Send a card with a personal, specific, HANDWRITTEN NOTE for sympathy, cheer, congratulations, etc.
Pray: God, I want to be Your hands and feet. Allow me to see what events people in my life have happening in theirs. Reveal to me the ways I can help and give me boldness to act. Allow me to reflect on ways others have helped me (or when and how I wish they had helped) to provide care to others. Amen
Read: 1 Peter 4:8-11; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; Colossians 3:12-17; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Weekly Memory Verse: “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” 1 Corinthians 15:33, ESV