TO FORGIVE OR NOT TO FORGIVE 

Debbie Nelson 

Today’s Scripture: “So he complained to the Lord about it: ‘Didn’t I say before I left home that you would do this, Lord? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people.’” Jonah 4:2, NLT 

Theme: We show our selfishness when we want retribution for our enemies and grace for ourselves. 

IT’S PERSONAL TO ME 

The topic and concept of forgiveness (for others) has always been a tough one for me. That’s why I specifically picked this Scripture to write about today. In my 60+ years on this earth, I’ve been hurt by a great many people, people who I thought were my friends. When they hurt me, the pain went really deep - so deep that I immediately wanted them to hurt in the same way they had hurt me. I vowed that I would NEVER forgive them. Let the punishment fit the crime, I thought. It’s what they deserve, isn’t it? 

How about you? Have you ever been hurt by someone you loved and trusted? Was your first thought to forgive them? If so, let me commend you, because that’s not how I looked at things.  

LET’S TALK ABOUT JONAH 

I can understand what Jonah was thinking and why Jonah fled to Tarshish. It wasn’t because he was necessarily afraid of the Assyrians. It was because of a deep resentment that God was probably going to extend His mercy to them. That suspicion did not sit well with Jonah. In fact, he was furious! How could God possibly forgive such evil acts? It just wasn’t fair. And Jonah wasn’t shy to tell God exactly what he thought about the situation.  

When I was hurt, I had the same mindset as Jonah. How could I possibly forgive someone who was so cruel and unjust? I vowed to carry that hatred to the grave without ever thinking twice, until… 

LEARNING A HARD LESSON 

A few years ago, I attended a Bible study about forgiveness. To say it was mind-blowing doesn’t do it justice! You know all that hatred and hurt I’d been carrying around for years? Guess who it was hurting? Not the person who hurt me. It was ME that it kept hurting, over and over and over again! I was literally torturing myself for someone else’s actions. All along, I’m sure they never gave me a second thought. They went on with their lives, but I was stuck in an endless cycle of hurt and anger.  

The study taught me that just because I forgive someone doesn’t mean I have to forget what they did; nor do I have to continue having a relationship with them. By forgiving them, I was finally freeing myself from the weight I was carrying. I may have been a slow learner, but better late than never.  

ANOTHER MESSAGE FROM GOD 

There was another thing I read that had a very profound effect on me. It was a daily devotional one summer morning about forgiveness. Here is what it said, “I know at times it seems that when you forgive, you’re letting someone off the hook and they’re getting away with their sin, but I AM GOD. YOU ARE NOT!” (Hill, Cherie. He Whispers Your Name. Christian Arts Gifts, 2016. Devotion for July 5.) Can anyone say, “Drop the mic”? Those words literally stopped me in my tracks.  

It continued to read, “Trust Me to do My job. If you take revenge, then you have deemed your justice above Mine and you get in the way of My plans and purpose to redeem the situation. My throne is not big enough for the two of us. Let Me deal with the situation. Set yourself free to live in peace and allow me to render justice.” I’m still speechless when I read those words. The devotion also pointed to this scripture from Matthew 18:33 (NLT), “Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?” 

GOD’S FORGIVENESS FOR US 

It’s so easy to expect God to punish others for their sin, yet we expect Him to forgive us for ours. Thank goodness that, as our Scripture for today says, God is gracious, merciful, slow to anger, abundant in loving kindness, and one who relents from doing harm. We need to stand in awe of God’s grace toward Jonah. He sought Jonah when he fled. He discipled Jonah so He could use him. He gave Jonah a second chance. But the most astounding demonstration of God’s grace is that Jonah was a disgruntled, fault-finding child of God. He even argued with God, but God still showed Jonah grace, just as He does with all His children. Aren’t we the lucky ones? 

Make It Personal: Are you holding on to old hurts or even some more recent ones? Do you want to seek your own justice instead of allowing God to handle the situation? Ask yourself if you want to continue carrying that burden one minute longer, or worse, for the rest of your earthly life? Remember that you are not God, then trust Him in these situations the same way you trust Him to handle everything else in your life. You’ll be amazed at how freeing that truly is.  

Pray: Heavenly Father, thank You for always showing me Your grace and mercy when I repent of my sins. Thank You for never turning Your back on me and continuing to love me, even when I am a petulant child. Help me to extend that same grace and mercy to others so that I can live my life in peace, free of those burdens. In Your Name I pray. Amen.  

Read: Exodus 34:6-7; Joel 2:13; Psalm 86:15; Psalm 103:8; Nehemiah 9:17 

Weekly Memory Verse: “Just kill me now, Lord! I’d rather be dead than alive if what I predicted will not happen.” Jonah 4:3, NLT